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Advent/Christmas 2007 Newsletter

Editors' Foreword Being, well, Rounded!

Hi, Colin here. On behalf of the Coordinators, God’s blessings to you on this season of Advent.

Today, I visited a friend’s home whose front door hung this beautiful Advent wreath with a white candle in the middle to symbolize the Family.

The round shape of the wreath reminded me of a wonderful story from the desert in Egypt! You see in the 4th and 5th century there lived Christian hermits known as the desert fathers and mothers. Their stories or parables are considered important writings of the early Christians.

Here is the story of the circle. A brother visited them in their desert home and asked Abba Matoes: What shall I do? My tongue causes me trouble and often when I am among people, I cannot control it. I am cynical about their good deeds and contradict them. It is in my nature but I want to be a better person. What shall I do?

The old man answered him: “If you cannot control yourself, go away from people and live alone. For this is a weakness. Those who live together with others ought not to be square, but round, in order to turn toward all. “ Further, the old man said: “I live alone not because of any virtue, but rather because of my weakness. You see, those who live among people are the strong ones.”

Abba Matoes calls us the …..strong ones. Yep, it’s a tough calling. Have a really blessed and round Christmas! Ho Ho Ho!

Yours in Christ,
Colin, Mag & Jen

Words of Wisdom
By Rina Rudyanto

My favourite liturgical season is advent. We've celebrated the feast of Christ the King a few weeks ago and Advent is here. I used to think that Advent 'snucks' up on us, catching us unaware of how fast the year has gone by before Christmas arrives, and a new year follows. Often lost in the pervasive Christmas-y decorations that have gone up in department stores way before Advent is even here, is the idea that Advent is a period of waiting.

From the Old Testament, we learn that our elder brothers in faith, the Jews, are people who knows the meaning of waiting. From Abraham, who waited until his old age to see the Lord's promise of innumerable descendants, to the Israelites under the yoke of Egyptian slavery, to those who wander (and perish) in the desert for 40 years before they set their sight on the promised land, the Jews are People who wait, a People of hope. And so are we, the people who live after our Lord entered time, we are a people who hope to see behold His countenance one day.

In our daily lives, there are many moments when we hope and long for the arrival of something: birth of a child, liberation from tyranny, recovery from a long sickness, or even, an end to a long, arduous project at work. It is in these moments that we labor to bring Christ into the world. In yesterday's feast, we are reminded that Christ is King, and His kingdom, while not of this world, is <em>in</em> this world, and we, His soldiers, need to conquer ourselves to spread His kingdom. It makes no sense to suffer, to sacrifice and to love, if we are not people of Hope. Christ had come to redeem us, and Christ will come again.

Every year Advent comes upon us, reliving the anticipation of the drama of Incarnation, where God truly becomes one of us. Isn't this Truth something that all human heart secretly longs for? Saints lead their entire lives in anticipation, and sometimes they even lead a foretaste of an eternal life with God, where our souls no longer suffer under the yoke of the world's trials, where God wipes every tear from our faces.

Let us contemplate the humility and the majesty of our God who enter into our life as a mere child; He who could appear anywhere, anytime as anyone, chose not to reveal His glory, but to live His own obscure Advent for thirty years! Every Advent we are reminded of the ethereal nature of our lives here on earth, and it is but one lifelong Advent period to prepare for the coming of God into our lives.

Happily Ever After
By Eunice Frances Chan

Divorce used to be a dirty word which conjures images of the disgraced and the shamed. It is however, no longer a taboo word in the last couple of years within Singapore. Look around and I am sure many of us would have at least known a friend who is divorced. What has happened to “happy ever after”?

In Singapore, 4.5 marriages out of 10 never made it through to ‘happily ever after’ these days. Where did this “Divorce Virus” come from and why is this so-one might ask (or at least I ask)? I reckon it is because people do not view the importance in the sanctity of marriage like how our grandparents and even great parents generations do.

At one point in time, such close occurrences amongst close friends and family members have shaken my confidence in the sanctity of marriage such that marriage scares me and I thought a lot about it and even went round surveying couples who have successful marriages for 10, 20, 30, 35 and even 40 years. I asked them 2 simple questions -how do I know if I marry the right person and how do I ensure my marriage is for keeps. Here’s the same answer I’ve obtained from all – the key to succeeding in marriage is not finding the right person. It is LEARNING TO LOVE the person you found.

Every relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fall in love with each other. You look forward to your partner’s calls, yearned for their tender kisses and touch, and love ALL their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love isn’t hard at all!! As a matter of fact, it is a splendid feeling and you never fail to feel on top of the world, glowing in bliss! As described by a close friend when he fell in love with Miss X - ‘Eun, I really think she is the one and I love her’- after having been in a relationship for a year.

Falling in love is really easy. But after some years of marriage, the euphoria of love will fade. It's the natural cycle of every relationship. Overtime, phone calls become bothersome, physical touch is sometimes received with irritation and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute and loveable, drives you up the wall.

The symptoms of this stage vary from one relationship to another. At this point, many will start asking themselves ‘Gee, did I marry the right person?’ As you and your spouse reminisce on the elation of the love you once shared, you may begin to want that same euphoria of love with another person. This is when marriages breakdown. The same close friend told me 1.5 years after his marriage over coffee one day – ‘Eun, I am opting out, I really cannot stand her. She is no good…blah blah blah.. we just cannot live together anymore and I have moved out’. Hearing this, I really felt very sad, that I even cried that afternoon.

Spouses always blame each other for their unhappiness and look outside of their marriage for fulfillment. Extramarital gratification comes in all ways and forms. Infidelity is the most apparent-if one allowed oneself to get suckered into temptations which are aplenty out there. However, at times, some people turn to work, church, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances such as cigarettes and alcohol.

The truth is-people often do not realise that the answer to their marital woes does not lie outside their marriage but it lies within it. Think about it rationally, even if one were to fall in love with another person, the better feelings are only temporary as the same situation will repeat itself in a few years down.

I’ve come to this conclusion after speaking to so many people that I can’t expect to find lasting love. Both me and my future spouse will have to make it happen – no matter what - and this is gonna take tremendous amount of time, effort, energy and sometimes frustration. We both need to know and be prepared that it’s a lot of hard work involved! What’s most important is both of us must share the same marriage vision, mission and values to make our marriage last.

And oh yes, it really does not matter if the couple has dated for many years or 6 months because what’s most important is that the two persons have to be like minded and want to work towards the same goal. As I’ve seen couples who have dated 2 years and above only to split after less than 2 years of marriage and couples dated for 6 months and still going on strong.

Like what we always inculcate in the Choice Program- Love whether in marriage or even in family is indeed a "DECISION"... Not just a feeling.

I hope this is something for you to chew on before you take the plunge into happily ever after! Merry Christmas and a blessed New Year ahead!

Movie Review of Ratatouille (Moo-vee ree-vee-yoo of Rat-a-too-ee)
By Nicholas Lye

I usually am hesitant when it comes to watching animated-films in cinemas, not because I find them childish, but because I don’t find them worth paying such exorbitant prices for – like paying $10 for a glass of water (even if its Perrier) in a fancy restaurant. But never did I expect this ‘water’ to taste just heavenly.

Ratatouille is a refreshing delectable tale (not tail) of a rat named Remy whose unthinkable dream is to become a famous chef…in Paris! Yet Remy faces resistance from his family and the obvious fact that having a rat cook your meal is kind of hard to swallow. The film dishes out the old familiar themes of family, friendship, and being true to oneself in a totally creative and engaging manner garnished with the right combination of humour, tear-jerkers and inspiring moments that leave audiences drooling for more as we see how Remy struggles to follow his calling and passion, and take the sewage less travelled.

"It's in my blood! I'm a maker, not a taker!" insists Remy when his father tries to persuade him that he was born a rat and should do what other rats do – steal food. I wonder if Jesus as a child ever had kids laugh at him for being born in a manger, and had to retort, “It’s in my blood! I’m a servant king, born to serve and not to be served!” How many of us, after having attended CHOICE, dare to admit that at one point in time we were so inspired to know, love, and serve the significant people in our lives as if it was in our blood? Yet after awhile, how many of us got sucked back into status quo, doing what others do, contented with living second-best lives that no one else really belongs to?

This Christmas, many of our loved ones are waiting in hope not for mere presents, or turkeys, or fancy (pointless) parties. Instead, they wait in hope for that fireworks display of love from us, one that jolts their senses more than tequila can do, one that leaves such a lasting lingering mind-blowing taste on their lips that isn’t easily forgotten the next morning.

What are you doing this Christmas? I hope you catch Ratatouille if you haven’t already done so, and be inspired once again to follow your heart, to take that road less travelled, and make that difference in the lives of your loved ones in the way Remy dreamt of doing in the culinary world. Only difference is, in our world, Jesus too is waiting in hope for us to do the unthinkable, and will gladly give us the secret recipe that’s kept for more than 2,000 years, in order for us to serve the most memorable Christmas meal for our loved ones that will be remembered all throughout the new year.

(If you’re interested, please visit http://awalkwithyou.blogspot.com/2007/09/moo-vee-ree-vee-yoo-of-rat-too-ee.html for my more elaborate reflection on the movie.)

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